Beyond Good & Bad - Dropping the Labels

One of the biggest limitations we face as individuals and a society is labeling things as "good" or "bad".

Things aren't truly "good" or "bad". It is a challenge idea, but an essential one to live with knowing.

Everything is Contextual 

What's "good" for one might feel harmful to another. A loss may feel like destruction, yet create space. A mistake might bring clarity.

From this view, everything just is. What we make of them turns them good or bad.

What We Know As Children

We do have an innate sense of what is "good" or "bad" as children, but it doesn't contradict the idea that these are just labels.

As children, we understand what is:

• Safe versus unsafe

• Connection versus abandonment

• Loving versus frightening

To know something is not safe, for example, or not kind or honest, is not the same as believing that is bad and evil.

Safe versus Unsafe is Felt, Not Taught

Our nervous systems register the difference between safety and danger to help us survive. To be unsafe means we tense, alert, shutdown, etc. To be safe means we are calm, connected, and able to be present.

That doesn't necessarily mean it's dangerous - just that it feels threatening in some way. It's a bodily truth, not a moral one.

We know what brings us wholeness versus pain. That's wired into us for survival. A loud voice may feel unsafe even if the speaker means well.

Where Labels Come From

"Good" vs "Bad" are moral ideas that are taught to us.

But moral labels of "good" versus "bad" come into us later through conditioning. Parents and teachers start to assign everything a label.

"Good boy for sharing."

"Bad girl for yelling."

This creates behavior programming, meaning it tells us how to act, not innate truth. As children, we associate our worth with being "good" or "bad" rather than feeling our actions and their impact.

This is why so-called "bad" things can feel safe, like staying in a toxic relationship. And why "good" things can feel unsafe, like speaking your own truth.

What children truly know is presence. We have awareness that allows us to feel the energy of a moment and sense how it affects us. That's presence and perception. It's knowing.

Nature Isn't Moral - But It Is Impactful

We often think morality is about what's "right" or "wrong", but natural doesn't work that way. The world doesn't label birth as "good" or death as "bad". It simply happens.

Our bodies are wired to respond - not to morality, but to safety. From the moment we're born, we feel our way through the world. So safe tells us we can stay open. "Good" tells us whether the world approves.

Earthly experiences like earthquakes, sunsets, birth and death aren't good or bad - they just simply exist. It's because the world is alive. The world unfolds by natural law, not moral judgement.

The world moves without judgement, and when we stop labeling it we begin to move with it, not against it.

What About Harm?

Some actions cause undeniable harm. We're not pretending that murder, abuse, or cruelty don't matter. They absolutely do, but the point is not that there aren't necessarily bad or good things, but simply they are too shallow.

Even something as horrific as murder isn't "bad" because a religion or society labeled it that way. It' harmful because it violates the natural order of life. It rips safety from the body which severs connection, dignity, and existence. There are elements that lead to murder that aren't covered in "bad". And whether we like it or not, some people justify murder depending on the context.

So removing "good" and "bad" does not dissolve accountability. It is not a free pass for harm. It simply invites us to look deep than punishment.

If someone murders, they need to be stopped. That's justice. That's safety. But if we stop as "he's evil", we can't heal what created the murder to begin with. We can't prevent the next one. We can't evolve.

Accountability Through Awareness

The problem with labeling things "good" or "bad" means we simplify reality at a cost. It is another element that helps our brains stay efficient, but we lose depth.

Labeling serves as a method of control, shame, and suppression. Using labeling in such ways creates a barrier to growth. For example, when a child lies out of fear, labeling the lie as “bad” causes the child to internalize shame instead of learning honesty.

We have the power to learn morality based on our impact versus enforcement.

We begin shifting our focus from:

 "Is this good or bad?" to "Does this help or harm me or those around me?".

We shift from following rules to developing awareness and responsibility. We begin to meet experiences with curiosity, not shame.

By asking, "How did that affect the other person? What do you think that felt?" we build empathy, not shame.

Morality becomes about compassion, integrity, mutual respect, and accountability. Those are chosen, not imposed, so they have roots within ourselves.

How Labeling Triggers Suffering

"Good" versus "bad" keeps our minds in constant evaluation - reacting instead of observing. It creates resistance. If something is "bad", we tense up. Tension is what creates suffering. If you approach things neutrally, you allow space for wisdom, growth and response, rather than reactivity.

When we label everything "good" or "bad" it looks like this:

• You spill coffee - Ugh, that was bad. My day is ruined.

• You get a compliment - This is good. I need more of this to feel okay.

• Someone abandons you - This is bad. I must have done something wrong.

• You feel peaceful - "This is good. I need to keep this feeling forever."

Our minds then attach meaning to the experience, which causes us to fix, cling, control, or avoid.

When we drop the label of "good" versus "bad", we enter observation:

• You spill coffee - I'm frustrated. That just happened.

• You get a compliment - That felt nice to receive. I see how I want more.

• Someone abandons you - That hurts. I don't know the full story but I can feel my pain.

• You feel peaceful - "This is a beautiful moment. Let me enjoy it, knowing it too shall pass."

Dropping the label comes from this very concept. Resistance creates suffering. When we label pain as “bad”, we resist it. When we label something as “good” we want more of it.

Living By Impact, Not Labels

But when we observe, we simply:

• Feel the feelings without labels

• Stay in the moment

• Let the moment move through us

There is a profound difference in living life based on impact instead of labels. We are no longer following rules, we are living with awareness.

It creates morality that lasts because it's embodied, not forced. It creates a space of maturity, where we are responsible for our actions with empathy and accountability instead of hiding parts of ourselves. And it dissolves black and white thinking, which can lead us to judge people at their worst.

You are no longer controlled by things. You begin sitting beside them and using your inner truth and knowing to make choices that sit right with us.