Finding Purpose From Actions & Goals in Expansion

Purpose has become such a saturated word that carries so much density from our social conditioning.

Much of the density is based in lack. The idea has become that we need purpose to fill things and fix things. We need purpose to be things and to achieve things.

But at its core, purpose is simpler. Purpose is doing things for a reason. In practice, purpose is doing something with an intent, typically positive. Then the sensation of purpose is action based in intent so strongly that we gain a sense of ease and joy.

Of course, everyone wants purpose then.

The Misconceptions About Purpose

The misconception is that purpose is something we consistently feel as ease and joy. To be human means to experience ease and joy, but equally to experience pain and fear. There is no exception in purpose, but the purpose may remain during opposite emotional experiences. If we think that purpose removes pain, we will never find true purpose in our actions.

Purpose does not absolve pain. Pain will always exist. It is essential to being human. We experience both pain and pleasure with the same certainty that we die.

If we acknowledge there is pain, then we are not trying to get rid of it.

By acknowledging pain, we make space for it, allow it to move through us or remain without controlling us. Then we can also acknowledge pleasure, holding space for both. The goal is not to remove pain, but to expand pleasure.

The Simplicity of Action

Purpose is the why behind what we do. The compassion, meaning, or direction we're taking. But let's flip it on it's head and look at the actions first.

By questioning our truths, beliefs and actions and how they actually feel to us, we become familiar with what actions lights us up.

We can then even look at the purpose of those actions. If they are simply to have fun or feel good, that's purpose enough.

Yet many of us are looking for some grand purpose, forgetting another element of being human: the innate desire to experience peace and contentment. We think in five-year plans and conditional "if i have this, then I will feel this". But what about right now, as you read this?

What would light you up in this moment? What are the actions that light you up right now?

Curiosity as the Starting Point

Purpose is often found by following curiosity. What excites you? What makes you feel awake? For many, it emerges gradually rather than arriving as a single, defining calling.

We have to start somewhere, and "now" is really the only thing we have. Not five years from now.

So if we know what lights us up today, and we want to expand upon that that becomes the guide to our way to identifying what provides us purpose.

Fear of the Future vs. Power of the Present

Fear of the future is built into the scarcity model of our society. But here's the key: when we focus on expansion, not fear, it actually gives us more security. Physiologically, the body first relaxes. The nervous system shifts out of survival mode. More of the brain comes online.

We can then think more clearly, which brings more of our brain online and literally opens more opportunities.

True purpose comes from expansion, not from trying to fill a hole.

Alignment Between Inner and Outer

When we focus on the purposeful action in this moment, those moments stack and then have the power to expand to a lifetime.

Living with purpose isn't just about what we do, but how aligned those actions feel with our truth. When our inner knowing and outer actions match, we feel coherence. And often, purpose deepens when it extends beyond ourselves.

Goals as Purpose in Motion

Within the why and the actions, we find the what, which is the goal. Goals that light us up in true alignment become purpose in motion. From there, we can define purpose not designed to override pain but in fact, to enhance our joy, contentment, peace, etc.

Instead of looking at what we don't have, we look at what we do have.

When we set goals from a place of pain, we are trying to fill a hole of lack. We can only fill a hole to its edges. But to expand something means it does not have walls. It can grow boundlessly.

So when we set goals intending to eliminate or avoiding pain, we limit ourselves.

When we make actions to build more contentment and security, we expand the elements we are aiming for, and it grows even further.

The Science of Focus

Here is where science grounds the truth. When our focus is on what's broken, our mind is scanning for problems.

Psychologically, that locks us into a deficit mindset. We become hyperaware of what isn't working. The brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), the filter that decides what to pay attention to, starts highlighting only what confirms the lack. Stress hormones like cortisol rise, narrowing our perspective.

The brain literally wires to notice and confirm the lack, which means our energy, our conversations, and even our decisions orbit around the same problems.

Life mirrors our inner focus because of this.

At work, we might feel:

"I hate my boss, this company is toxic, and my workload is crushing me. I just need a new job."

Here, the brain is scanning for escape routes. We apply to any role that looks different without clarity on what you want to grow. Even if we land a new role, the same frustrations often resurface because our brains are trained to expect them.

But if the focus shifts to expansion:

“I love mentoring teammates and presenting new ideas. I want more space to grow those skills.”

The biology changes. Dopamine (anticipation) and serotonin (contentment) rise, widening our thinking. The brain is now scanning for alignment. We notice roles that emphasize leadership development, creativity, or presentations. Even if we stay in our current role a little longer, we start carving out more of what lights us up, which changes how we’re seen and what opportunities flow toward us.

The same cycle shows up in relationships. A pain-focused lens might sound like:

“My partner never plans dates and never travels with me. They’ll never change.”

The brain tracks every instance that confirms, “they don’t show up.” Energy closes, criticism rises, and we often attract or repeat dynamics that mirror that absence because we're scanning for it.

Shifting the focus to expansion of ourselves reframes the entire experience.

“I love adventure and feel most alive when I’m traveling. I want to share that joy in partnership.”

Here, we’re centering on our value. That self-alignment makes us more magnetic. Physiologically, this coherence shifts heart rhythms, breath, and brain waves into calm. From this state, we might invite our current partner into that energy positively (“I’d love us to plan a trip together”).

Alternatively, we can easily see that if the relationship isn’t aligned. We can make better choices for ourselves and eventually naturally attract a partner who already resonates with us. By broadcasting clarity instead of scarcity, we open the door to alignment.

Pain vs. Expansion: The Mechanism

Pain-focus makes you reactive, feels like running away. Expansion-focus makes you proactive, feels like moving toward. One contracts options; the other broadens them.

Pain-focus narrows us into complaint loops and scarcity. Expansion-focus clarifies what we love, signals it outward, and draws alignment in.

So, in both jobs and relationships, the mechanism is the same:

• Pain-focused = broken lens. Brain scans for problems → cortisol narrows perspective → energy is escape/criticism → cycles repeat.

• Expansion-focused = growth lens. Brain scans for possibility → dopamine and serotonin expand cognition → energy is clarity/excitement → aligned opportunities show up.

Returning to Purpose

We are in many ways predisposed to focus on lack. Our biology pulls us there: the brain's negativity bias keeps us scanning for what is wrong, the amygdala drives us into survival mode when we sense uncertainty, and our social conditioning rewards problem-solving over expansion. We often believe that we earn purpose by fixing problems, which is understandable.

But filling a lack only reinforces the cycle. The more we try to patch holes, the more the brain searches for new ones.

Expansion is what offers us a different path in life. When we choose actions that light us up, we shift our biology. Those actions, however small, become guideposts. Goals then emerge not as attempts to fix what's missing, but as a natural extension of what is already alive.

Purpose appears when our goals and actions align. It is not discovered once and for all. Purpose is something we experience through the alignment of our actions, goals, and the deeper “why” that connects them.

True purpose is not in filling what’s broken, but in expanding what is whole through our actions, our goals, and the things that light us up every day.