Sharing My Alphabet

I flipped back through these pages. How many times am I going to learn the same lesson before I get it? Before I act with it 100% of the time?

When I gave something up and made a change, a friend of mine said to me “don’t go back, you’ll undo all your work you’ve done”. Only a non-addict sees life like that. If you go one day without something, that day still counts as a day without even if you go backwards.

The reality for me is that cold turkey has worked one out of the ten times. More often than not, I have to try something or learn something many times before it’s fully embodied and my new normal. If it ever actually is.

I keep relearning the same lesson. I keep reading similar material. I have to remember something on repeat. I talk to myself over and over until finally it sticks as something I know. Then something I remember and can act upon. Eventually with enough repetition the hope is, it becomes who I am.

So 21 days to a habit nice in theory and willpower is isn’t as real as we think. Taking 4 steps forward and 8 back is tough, but the reality is, that’s how some of us learn and it’s okay.

We don’t just hear the alphabet song once and know it forever.

So this is my collection of learning the alphabet of life, me categorizing and trying to remember the alphabet. The alphabet of the human condition even more. I am trying to embody the alphabet. To sing it in my every move.

And in my experience, understanding a generalized human experience helps me build my experience to peace.

Perhaps it’s simply the very fact of knowing my experience isn’t that unique after all that brings me peace. The reminder of the innate connection between all humans, both dead and alive. Knowing we’re not alone at all. Knowing the answers are here and within us all.

Acknowledging the greater, grander inevitable connection to the surrounding people, nature around us and, of course, the universe.