A Step-by-Step Guide to Feeling Your Feelings In A Healthy Way

Start here! Why Identifying Your Feelings Actually Matters

Emotions and feelings are tough -- there's no doubt about it! But the payoff of exploring them is greater than I can describe in words.

1. Name that feeling!

This is a fundamental step in mental health practice. Whether you’re looking back or currently in the moment, the first thing to do is identify the feeling. There is no wrong answer except not identifying your feeling.

If you are having a hard time saying the feeling, here is a list of emotions to use to see what resonates with you.

Note: phrases like "I feel like it could have been different" or "I feel like this is useless" are not actual emotions. Make sure you're familiar with the list of emotions to better label them.

2. How does it feel?

This is the best step. What does the feeling feel like in your body? Do you feel hot or cold? Or do you feel any tightness or ease?

Try not to focus on the story or experience or the people involved - just the physical sensations for a minute.

3. Where do you feel that feeling within your body?

Typically, we feel these sensations in specific places in our bodies. Noting the physical helps us to better identify the emotion and start to note the effects. Our bodies respond before our minds do, so the more we pay attention and become familiar with the physical effects, the quicker we notice our emotions in our daily lives.

4. Can you give the feeling a shape within your body? How about a color?

This labeling also helps to identify and focus on the feeling further. It sounds funny but it can be very helpful to understand the physical space an emotion holds rather than letting it consume you entirely.

5. What is the feeling expressing?

Feelings are guideposts for us. Even if they seem positive or negative, using them as directions is always beneficial. So what does this emotion tell you? Is there is an action that needs to take place?

6. Feel the feeling fully

Breathe. Let the feeling come on. Focus deeply on the feeling as long as you can. If it feels too overwhelming, focus on your breathing and come back when you're ready. If your focus feels too short, you can always come back. The goal is to fully immerse yourself in the feeling. If you need to cry, cry - crying is a physical release of the energy in an emotion. It is not shameful; it's actually very useful. Focus deeply on it and continue to drop the story around it as it comes up.

To release emotions, we must feel them.

During your own exploration, if you need help at anytime, please talk to your doctor or mental health practitioner. I have found BetterHelp and TalkSpace to be easily accessible during times I wasn't able to find a provider near me.